im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
do herpes really smell.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize
