omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
