well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
