and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
