sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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