Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
Randomize
