I'm drive I can fine osifer
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
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