Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
