I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
Randomize
