he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
you never un-have a 4some
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
So here I am, sexting at work.
Randomize
