No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
Someone signed my nipple.
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