I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
she told me i tasted like america
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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