Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
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