Your dad touched me again.
my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Randomize
