I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
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