you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
