Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.�
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
My life is pants optional.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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