Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Randomize
