Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Randomize
