dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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