you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Randomize
