Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
