While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
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