I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
