Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
you told grandpa to call you daddy
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
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