How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
Randomize
