I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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