I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Randomize
