I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
