Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
I have feelings that need drinking.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
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