Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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