You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize
