That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Randomize
