Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
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