ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
