I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
My hair reeks of homosexuality.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
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