yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
Randomize
