You smell like stripper and shame
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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