Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
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