so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
You have to summon your inner elephant
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
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