BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
Randomize
