I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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