is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
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