There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
Where did you get a picture of my penis
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
Randomize
