i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Randomize
