It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
