I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
