Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
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