Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Randomize
