worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
