Dual....:-)
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
Randomize
